Roller coasters have ups and downs, abrupt
twists and turns, and outrageous speeds. I’ve been on a few and know I don't
like the real things. I for sure don’t
like the emotional ones either! Wow, today has been a real doozie. I had
strange dreams that gave me funky uneasy feelings to start my day. I had some
really pleasant moments today, lunch break especially where I escaped cube land
to enjoy Texas winter of a sunny 75 degrees. But I’m back to feeling stressed
and sad. During my down time/breaks at work I tried to keep busy by reading
articles, but that just made me flustered. I don’t think I can win today. It’s
not even 4 pm and all I want to do is get my hugs and kisses from G and R and
head to bed.
This particular article really got me exasperated:
http://healthland.time.com/2011/03/04/why-having-kids-is-foolish/
“Kid Crazy: Why We
Exaggerate the Joys of Parenthood”. My reaction - Really?! There is no way I
can exaggerate the way it feels to get a hug, a kiss, a snuggle form my
daughter! The way my heart melts the first time (and every time after) when I
hear “Mommy, I love you”. It’s beyond amazing! Exaggerate… WHATEVER! I do not
deny the sleepless nights or financial stress of children, but I have no need
to exaggerate the joys because they are immense in quality and quantity. That
might not be everyone’s experience, but I want to state this ‘study’ does not
represent me.
An
interesting quote I came across was “… the vast majority of
American men and women eventually have children, yet conditions in our society
make it nearly impossible for them to reap all the emotional benefits of doing
so.” Ok. I do envy some European social support systems that are available to
parents. I also think it’s wonderful that nursing mothers are not shamed or
treated as flashers in other parts of the world. But I think some of the ‘American’
lack of emotional benefit stretches beyond parenting. I think in large part health,
happiness, and culture is under rated here in the states. A focus on career,
stability, and money impedes many to feel fulfilled (with or without children).
I'm so sorry for your roller coaster rides! I too hate roller coasters and will never go on one again; I've only been on one, and that's all it took to make me hate the ride. Yes, I too have emotional roller coaster days, even with medication I find myself a bit depressed, sullen and also in a state of melancholy at times... Articles that offer studies like that make me angry; they act as if they have studied a large cross section of our population when in fact they have a small control group and are making an assumption of cause and effect... Thank God there are other studies that argue these finding...
ReplyDeleteAny parent would agree that there is no such means of exaggeration when it comes to ones love of their child and the expression of it... I'll go to my grave knowing that having children was the right thing for me and I'll always express the love I feel for them till I go... I wonder if people who write articles like described above have ever had love in their life, or perhaps, lost something thing dear to them and never recovered... It leaves one to ponder...
ReplyDeleteI have a huge problem with this quote - “… the vast majority of American men and women eventually have children, yet conditions in our society make it nearly impossible for them to reap all the emotional benefits of doing so.”
ReplyDeleteThis presumes that every action we take needs to be 100% beneficial to us all of the time, or it is not worth the trouble. Modern society has only enhanced the emotional benefits, not only for the parent but for the child. It wasn't long ago that it was not only socially acceptable (if not encouraged) for fathers play a small role in the day to day care of their children. Psychological and physical abuse of children also had a higher degree of acceptability within society. How can those enhancements not be seen as beneficial? As far as I can tell there is no utopia, there will always be problems and obstacles, so if the complexities of the modern world stop a person from having a child then what else will "society" keep them from doing? I suspect this is more about being selfish than anything else.
I can see that. Though some are selfish with full knowledge of the needs/desires of others while others are selfish while being seemingly oblivious to the people around them. Hmmm... I think compromise, patience, and sacrifice may be under exercised skills these days (not by all but by enough people to effect the masses).
DeleteWell said; I agree with you completely!
DeleteWhat I mean to say is that I agree with both of your synopsis...
Delete