To Be, Or Not To Be... a parent

Even when trying to focus on work, a conversation breaks out among my peers about the benefits of having kids, or why anyone would ever procreate. Though my office as a whole is very supportive or indifferent about the three pregnancies currently in the office, there a few out spoken people that question the whole family dynamic. Don’t get me wrong I don’t think it’s for everyone and don’t feel the need to try to convince or encourage others toward my lifestyle choices, but I know it’s the most amazing thing I’ve done. And that is over simplifying how I feel about expanding my life roles beyond daughter, sister, friend, and student to also being a partner, mother, and teacher.

Recently I’ve been quoted how much it costs (in dollars) to raise a child, what I have to give up, what will inevitably change, and all the unknown additional stressors.  Ummm, hey buddy this is my second child… I expect more to change and more challenges, but I did this on purpose – thanks for the warnings. By the way, I love, adore and respect my husband and I get that in return. We are ecstatic to expand our little family! That’s fine that you don’t want kids; It’s not my issue that you don’t understand or disagree with marriage and if you're happy without it, then I'm happy for you. I’m not preaching that you should live your life any different that you want to… I do think people can have fulfillment in life without those social norms, but I also think some of us want those things not because that’s what we should do but rather it’s what we want.

What I said back to my colleagues that engaged me in conversation was – If you don’t want kids don’t have them, if you don’t want to get married don’t. They seemed surprised I wasn’t gushing over the joys. I don’t need to. I love having a life partner and being a parent, but have no expectation that everyone should or everyone does.