Guin's Birth Story

I was due on 4/2, so every day after I made sure I walked and stretched in an attempt to promote labor. I had a dr appt Monday 4/6 (at 11 or 11:30) to assess my progress. I was also warned a talk about induction was coming by Friday 4/10 if I didn't go into labor.

Sunday night we decided to try the spicy food thing - eating at an upscale Indian restaurant. I ordered something on the menu that had a warning, something like: Not for the faint of heart OR For the brave of heart. When I ordered it the waiter made sure I knew it was a very spicy dish. I said that is exactly what I was looking for. Ha-ha, oh boy it was intense but really tasty too! After 2 or 3 bites little Guin was already twisting and turning - you could see her movements through my clothes. It was obvious to the entire table. I ate all the coated lamb pieces and as much sauce as I could handle along with some much needed rice and naan. All the while tears dripping from my eyes and nose running. Others tasted the dish and were astonished that I was able to eat as much as I did.

Around 3-3:30 am I was awakened by what I thought was abdominal/digestive cramping. Thinking to myself, ok maybe extreme spice wasn't a good idea after all. But I managed to fall back asleep for a while.

It was a Monday morning and I was working from home. Between 9 and 9:30 am my water broke. I called Rick, telling him I'm not sure but something is happening. I told him to let me check and call him back. He said that he will just leave and come home (about 23 miles). I insisted that he wait for me to call him back, he agreed to appease me; however he left right away. Smart man! I also called my doctor’s office asking if they wanted me to keep my appointment or just head on in. They snickered a little and encouraged me to come to hospital and check myself into labor and delivery. I then called my manager saying that I was seeing my dr early with no additional info. I put my out of office on my email and voicemail then shut down my computer.

Though my water broke, I didn't experience the gush of water seen on T.V. and in movies. My nurse or doctor later explained that in my case the baby's head quickly moved down and prevented major leakage. Interesting. Anyway, when Rick got home I was still in no rush. Being concerned that the hospital wouldn’t let me eat if I wanted to, I made myself a banana and peanut butter sandwich on wheat bread with a large glass of cold cow’s milk. (I also asked Rick to sneak me food in the hospital if I wanted something. He said ok-ok, reassuring me that he wouldn’t leave me hungry.) So after this second breakfast we finished packing and loaded the car.

Rick drove quickly and pretty smooth, other than unavoidable dips near our house – wow-wee so glad Eldorado (street) has been smoothed out so we don’t have to repeat that part next time around. When we arrived I asked Rick to help me in and get us checked in, so we left all our pre-packed items in the car to get later. Plus we thought I would have a few rooms while waiting so we didn’t want to have to keep up with everything. Check-in was easy since we pre-registered with the hospital. I got a delivery room right away. Nurses, aids, and doctors were coming in and out checking on this checking on that. Rick stayed with me the whole time. He grew hot and hungry, so we decided he would run out in the halls to grab a snack. This was about 5pm (guesstimating). He heard a baby cry and rushed back to our room (without getting anything), he didn’t want to miss anything! He was such a great support and so sweet. We learned to bring in our stuff with us when we check-in. That way he’ll have his change of clothes and snacks J

I wanted as little intervention as possible, so I opted out of an IV and progesterone… I had to drink plenty of fluids (I was provided water, ice and juice) by mouth to stay hydrated. And labor was advancing at its own pace. I didn’t want to be hooked up and strapped down so they intermediately checked my and the baby’s heart rate instead of the constant monitoring. This allowed me to stand and walk around a little to promote labor. This continued until my heart rate rose and they warned if I couldn’t calm down/decrease my heart rate that they would put me on constant monitoring and I would then be restricted to the bed. Well, that’s what happened. We still declined progesterone to advance my labor, however after a very difficult conversation I decided to have an epidural after all due to my increased heart rate and oncoming anxiety attack. I didn’t cry from pain, but I cried while making this decision. I talked to Rick and had to call my mom to be comforted and reassured.

Guin was born between 9 and 10 pm, after 2-3 hours of pushing. I surprised the staff during the pushing phase. They were used to encouraging mothers to push, push, and push again. While in labor, I asked well do I have to stop and rest between pushes or can I just keep pushing. They said keep pushing is fine, just make sure to breath. So that’s what we did. It was such a wonderfully intense feeling of physical instinct. My body knew it wanted to push and didn’t want to stop until the job was done. My brain did very little, it was all muscle pre-programming. Neat-o! The dr commented that this went fast for a first time mom. Oh ok, we did good then J

Our visitors were allowed to come in for a short visit since it was already past visiting hours. A few pictures were taken, there would have been more if I would have permitted it. Guin was cleaned, weighed, and check out all in our delivery room. We had many of these wonderful features since our hospital is baby/family friendly. Finally we got our stuff from the car with the help of a family member or two. After receiving many congratulations and hugs and kisses, we said our good-byes and were moved to our room. Rick still had not ate or drank, so our best friends brought us some Jack-in-the-Box meals. So glad something was near the hospital and open 24! They were permitted to say a quick hello before being escorted out.


I ended up being awake over 30 hours straight. It took the nurse warning me then alerting the dr, hearing it from my dr and finally Rick lecturing me to finally sleep. I wasn’t trying to be a trouble maker and didn’t think I was being high maintenance. I was cheery and alert so I just stayed awake, but I guess I needed to try to wind down and sleep while I had the additional assistance from the hospital staff. I got 2 naps of about 3 hours each. It did help, imagine that – everyone was right J

Side note: Guin was born four days past her due date. And I believe both Rick and I were born late too. Will the next one break the trend and be early or on time? We still have so much to do to get ready. So as far as I'm concerned "Eggert" can stay in there as long as he/she wants :) Well, actually I hope not too long where I would “need” an induction. Above all else I simply hope for continued health for the entire family!

Week 25

So I've been having occasional but increasing tummy tightness and groin pain. I was told it’s most likely due to the additional pressure to my Round Ligament from the stretching uterus. So, I'm fine but I don't feel particularly perky during. So again, I've been resting a lot. And any time I can store up some energy we've been trying to focus it on a home project. I have many nesting/home adjustments on my wish list. So we are working to prioritize them in order to get the most impartment tasks completed before the baby is here!

My fun do's and don’ts for reducing groin pain:

·         Use ice or heat

·         Avoid frequent bending at the waist

·         Practice safe lifting and bending - To lower the body, bend at the knees instead of the waist.  Use the thigh muscles to push upward.   However, don't lift anything heavy.

·         Don't engage in movements that make the pain worse

·         When sleeping or resting, lie on the left side with your knees and hips bent.   Use support cushions and a full body pillow in bed - Try placing a pillow between the knees and one under the belly. This can take pressure off the groin, hips and back.

·         Use a pregnancy belt or support device

·         See a chiropractor, massage therapist, or acupuncturist.

Coming soon - Awesome Photos!

We had a family photo session this past Saturday at one of the really nice city parks near us. It was a bit breezy so hair will be interesting to see, but otherwise weather was beautiful! Just to give you a taste of what's to come, here is a shot of Guin deep in thought. 

Hahaha, now I know how my dad feels

It's been over a week now, but this stuck with me so I thought I'd share. I made breakfast that included toast. Guin requested some butter so I obliged. Then she still wasn't eating. I offered to add preserves and she said yes and added peanut butter too. I didn't want to waste food, so I just added almond butter and raspberry preserves and made the toast into a sandwich. Holy Cow, what a reaction! I covered her butter; put the bread together having the nut spread touch the fruit spread... After finally tasting the separated sandwich, her response was - Mmmm, not too bad. 

I couldn't help but crack up laughing. It so reminded me of myself the first time I had liver and onions prepared by my dad. I had such a reaction and protest, but after tasting it I told my dad I thought it tasted like liverwurst spread. My dad calmly explained that liver was an ingredient to the spread I liked so much and that's why they taste similar. I peacefully ate the rest of my dinner with enjoyment. 

Week 24

Wow-wow-wow, yesterday was the beginning of my 24th week!

I went in for a routine belly check last Thursday. After waiting a while (over an hour) for my doctor I was seen. She was very nice and acknowledged my wait. She had just delivered a healthy baby boy and both mother and child are resting. Yeah, so nice! Anyway, I was checked out in full without any sense of being rushed. My blood pressure and urine tests all checked out normal and looks like I’ve gained 12-13 pounds which is on target as well. After talking about my progress and recent symptoms and signs, the dr did one more test. We’re glad she did! Though I feel fine, I ended up having another infection. Oh brother, so it’s another round of antibiotics. This being my second (though different types) it is one more then I had when pregnant with G. I need to pump up my good bacteria with pro-biotics after pregnancy to decrease my sensitivity. All in all the doctor was pleased with my and the baby’s progress and growth!

Nutrition Check: In addition to taking my prenatal vitamins, I need to continue to focus on eating enough protein (about 75g). As well as ensuring proper calcium levels (1000-1200mg). Calcium has not been a problem. I've been drinking milk, enjoying cheese, and eating my very important greens.

Just one more note: It’s been a few weeks now with no arm braces. My carpel tunnel and weakness has decreased leaving me feeling a bit better wrist wise. While driving (when I experience the main problem) I still have mild thumb soreness in my left hand, but manageable without arm supports.

Learning

Rick and I both took Spanish in high school and have been lucky to visit both Spain and Mexico during our travels. But we would not kid ourselves and call ourselves bilingual! Learning Spanish (and getting as close as I can to becoming fluent) is on my bucket list. Also, I would love to learn at least a touch of Polish. I think living where I do it seems to be growing more beneficial to be well versed in multiple languages, especially Spanish. I carry this thinking over when it comes to teaching Guin. From the start when we purchased books and flashcards I was always sure to get some Spanish ones too. Grandmama practices G’s numbers in both English and Spanish, though not sure how much is sticking quite yet. Then out of the blue yesterday, G said “Buenas noches” to G-mama! “Good morning” replied G-mama. Then G corrected, no-no that’s night. My mom was so tickled with the interaction that she quickly told me and I shared with Rick. Yeah… it’s starting to stick! Ha-ha, I guess the marathon of Dora the Explorer this past weekend didn’t hurt either.  J When Rick picked up G, she told G-mama “Adios” as they left. (She fell asleep on the way home.)

I wanted to hear for myself so this morning I asked G what does Dora say. G promptly answered “Hola”. Yeah, I am so excited to hear that little squeaky voice saying new words.

Side note: She also learned two new English words over the weekend:

1) Huge which she repeated in context after hearing daddy describe one of her leafs.

2) Nasty, this was repeated 3-4 times in a row with a giggle after each. She picked this up from Darci as she described candied fennel that G was eating. It was funny to hear that unfold.

From what I’ve read it’s a good time to continue with language and vocabulary studies. She knows the Alphabet (with letter recognition), Numbers up to 12 (with number recognition up to 9), shapes (Circle, Triangle, Square, Heart, Moon/Crescent, Star, and working on rectangle), colors (red, pink, orange, yellow, green, blue, purple/violet, black, white, brown), patterns (polka dots and stripes).  In addition to expanding her English I think we should bust out her Spanish flashcards again and continue to play games and have fun practicing what she already knows but with the Spanish words as well. Her excitement and memory around learning has been really surprising and we hope it continues!

She is not writing yet, but her drawing skills are developing. She draws circles and snowmen as well as squares and toast.  Oh and lots of smiley faces and rainbows!

I try to talk and play games while we are in the car during our hours of commuting each week. Making this time more productive (beyond getting us from point A to B) relieves my stress a bit. Yeah, multi tasking – Yeah, learning J We’ve made a game of learning her parents and grandparents (yep, all 6) titles, first name, and city of residence. We expanded the location game to include her aunts, uncles, cousins, and good friend Liam. Recently Guin initiated the game while Grammy was riding with us. Grammy was so surprised that Guin not only knew her name but also her city!

Oh, our little brainiac with a memory sponge, how I hope to not slow you down! Well, really I would love to keep up with you! XO Love you baby, my big girl!

Week 23

Me:

·         Fatigue and decreased appetite – Yep, I’m still tired and not very hungry the last few days. Of course, I still have to be thoughtful of getting enough protein down for proper nutrition and growth but also for some much needed energy!

·         Faintness and Dizziness – I feel a bit like an old lady...  from lying, I need to sit up and wait a moment before standing and then I need to stand up slowly. When I try to hurry too much my heart races and I get dizzy. Ha-ha, since I don’t hurry very much these days this doesn’t happen that often.

·         Leg cramps and Back soreness – Oh these darn cramps! I get them in my calves, hips, back of thigh, and inner thighs (that new). Also, I seem to stress my back pretty easily, so I’m trying to take it easy.

·         Acne – it’s back L though I have some mild skin trouble all the time, sporadically during pregnancy I have heaver breakouts. Ugh, I think I’m more bothered by this then the inevitable (for me anyway) stretch marks.

·         Faster-growing nails – Nice! This has been probably going on for a while, but I am just now noticing. My fingernails are stronger and healthy looking with the natural pink and white; while my toenails are becoming a challenge for me to keep up with. It may be time to start asking for some assistance or get some pampering and visit the salon for a pedicure J

The baby has hair and can perceive light and dark. Also they can hear my voice, heartbeat, gurgling stomach, and even blood circulating through my body. With their sense of movement well developed by now, baby can feel me sway and dance. And now that the little one's growing larger around 11 inches long and just over a pound we are soon to see 'Eggert' squirm underneath my clothes.

Everybody Dance Now...

Our little G is taking dance; the class is called Creative Movement. She is in the youngest class and all the girls are between 2 and 3. She really seems to enjoy herself, never wanting to exit the room during instruction like a few of her shy classmates; however she now seems to be having some difficulty paying attention for the full 30 minutes.

Understandably so, her first class she wondered around the room dancing and smiling. She understood we were going to dance class so she danced! Hahaha, so cute J we even got a few comments from the other parents and the teacher: saying she did great for her first class... she wasn’t sassy or pushy and she stayed in the room. So, I guess you can say we started off well. We talked to her about taking turns and listening to her teacher and the next 9 or so classes went really smooth. There are three notable mentions: 1) she still can’t/won’t jump. She just squats down a little then stands quickly with a jerk to her shoulders and says jump. We’re working on that J 2) she is great at waiting her turn, but when she is called on and there is someone else left she wants them to go first... she wants to go absolutely last. Being nice and waiting her turn to the max 3) she likes to play before and after dance in the lobby which has toys including a play kitchen. One time we had to pick her up kicking and screaming to leave. (sigh) pretty sure that’s totally on us. We let her stay late the night before. She was probably tired and a bit cranky even though she was happy and playful during class. If I remember right, she did nap that day (which is no longer the norm), so pretty sure she was just over tired earlier.

And now we’ve reached the next phase - testing the limits. At home, with grandmama, and at dance no less. I think it’s been 3 classes now that she has gone rogue. The first sign of the shift was one time she wouldn’t get out of the nylon tunnel the girls take turns crawling through. So after waiting a bit to see if the teacher could manage, I went in the classroom and dumped her out. I followed it up with a clam reminder that she needs to take her turn and listen to her teacher. She was good and minded the rest of that class. The following week she pouted a bit and wondered aimlessly for parts of the class. I removed her and had her watch the girls ‘have fun learning dance’ until she asked to return. I let her and she again participated and minded the remainder of the class. Not sure what that was about.

Overall she still seems to like going and seeing her ‘friends’. Plus she no longer fights me when I put her hair up in preparation for class which is an improvement of itself. All in all we think it’s good for her to have some consistent interaction with other kids and introduce her to a teacher lead/structured instruction. We adore our little dancer!!

Diapers the not so final frontier...

Diapers the not so final frontier! That's because potty training follows. Not to mention poop play, constipation, and other growing pains of the digestive kind. Our G is doing wonderful using her little potty at home and at grand-mama’s and using the regular toilets (with some assistance from mom or dad) when we're out and about. She is still having a few accidents, but we are getting there. So by the time July rolls around it looks like we'll have only 1 in diapers! Yeah :) 

And this time around we are going to try cloth diapers. I'm getting some very helpful and practical advice from some family, but still have much to learn. I have more reading to do, some testing, lots of purchases to make, then a bit of preparation before we roll this plan out. One thing I know - I will have to keep up with laundry! I am excited and hope it works for our family because in the long term it will save us money and reduce our trash. 

Did you see that?!

This will be short and sweet! -
Rick saw the baby/my belly move for the first time last night after my dessert of a Dairy Queen banana split (minus the banana). Little "Eggert" seemed to dance every time Rick talked, but would immediately calm when he rubbed my belly. Then, boom - a bulge of my lower right side. Yeah, daddy got to see :)

The never ending to do list

I have grown to be much more positive than I ever thought possible. This is in part due to maturing over time, but more so due to my growing relationship with my wonderful partner in life, Rick. He has brought joy and happiness and proved a smile doesn’t mean to be naive or blind to the realities of life. I used to be called pessimistic or negative quite a bit, but I would quickly correct that label saying “I am just realistic”.  

I realized that I focus on much of the positive in this blog and my random infrequent posts on Facebook. I’ve been told this has left many to think I am way more together then I am. I think because when I am really time pressed I don’t write and when I return it’s usually about the relief and comfort of the calm. As many of my friends and family, I too wish I had more time in the day or wish I could muster up the motivation to get my to-do-list under control. I have much to do and little time and/or energy. I also have a tendency to over extend and commit myself. I mean well and do value my word, but still fall short at times. I am lucky to have great people in my life that are understanding.  

I am organized but have room for improvement on time management. I have good ideas and heartfelt intentions but seem to exhibit completion anxiety. Hmmm… interesting that this turned into a narrative of self reflection.

Second Trimester Appetite

I've slowly shifted away from not feeling hunger pains and only being alerted to the need of food/drink by nausea, light headedness, headache or the like. Now, I feel hungry before I'm afflicted with those other symptoms. And when taken care of timely I am able to avoid most of these. My appetite has increased, but I have to slow down! I eat fast and can eat too much which causes queasiness and bloating of a different sort. No matter, it is really nice to have the familiar body cues back.

Week 22

Wow, today is the beginning of my 22nd week of pregnancy. So what’s new or newish??

Edema: The mild swelling, that's so common during pregnancy and thanks to the laws of gravity, is particularly noticeable in my feet and ankles (and ring finger – due to restriction of my wedding band). It can vary by the hour and by the weather. My care instructions include drinking water and elevating my feet (to hip level) while resting.  I tend to simply lie down on the couch when I get home and rely on Rick for dinner. Thank you honey bunny for the good eats J

Leg cramps: Thought to be caused in part to a shortage of calcium or magnesium in the diet. I was told to reduce the frequency of these painful spasms by taking my prenatal vitamin every day. I’m trying to follow this, but sometimes my stomach can’t handle any and other times I simply forget.

Belly button soreness:  My uterus has now stretched to such proportions that it extends up past my belly button which is causing some tightness and minor aching. This is mostly due to natural and healthy development and growth but a little due to my scar tissue from the removal of my appendix as a teen. I did have some soreness with Guin too, but had no serious pain and no complications at all due to this. With G, though I remained an innie to full term my belly button is stretched open and became shallow (while pregnant). I expect the same this time around.

Fatigue continues… I am having trouble sleeping well for a variety of reasons, including heartburn/indigestion, leg cramps, neck/backache, breast tenderness, baby’s movement, and especially the need to pee frequently. The last few nights we had the added night time disruption of a screaming toddler sometime between 3-6am. Not sure if she is having nightmares or is half asleep and trying to figure out this whole potty by herself thing. None-the-less she needs comfort and care and I need a nap!

Growing gardens and family time

An afternoon of fun and sun, an afternoon of walking and sniffing, a beautiful afternoon with the family! Our trip to the Dallas Arboretum and Botanical Gardens was the tail end of my birthday celebrations this year. Guinny really liked the flower's colors and fragrance, the water fountains and still pools, and the ample amounts of soft green grass. But she was particularly delighted to have Rick escort her up and down as many stairs as we would allow. Toward the end of our visit, I stopped here to pose for a belly profile shot realizing I haven't taken any so far. So for all that are interested here I am - nice and round... and still expanding!

Oh yeah, one more thing to share -  I've been trying to alert Rick when there is baby movements so he can either watch or feel my belly with me in anticipation for the next jiggle or bump. But it seems like his calming ways have continued. Not only did a developing G seem to be still when she had Rick's attention, so does little 'Eggert'. Yesterday, with all the activity and warmth at the gardens, the baby was moving and moving plenty. Later that evening when we got home I had Rick place his hand on the lower left area of my belly to see once again if he could feel the movements. And this time he did! What a great bonding moment :)

Yep, I guess a little bit hippie…

With a mix of concerted cultivation, emotion coaching, authoritative (not to be confused with authoritarian) parenting styles and a libertarian leaning. I’ve been labeled by many as a hippie or neo-hippie. Not sure that’s an entirely accurate label due to my complex and somewhat contradictory views. However, I’m fine with that if it helps people relate to me. I’m open to hear about your differing style and thoughts as long as it doesn’t come along with judgments - please don’t tell me your way is ‘better’. Have you tried both ways, and one way is better for you and your family?! Then good for you for exploring and improving your situation. Otherwise, how do you know which is ‘better’ and better for whom?

With the help of these articles and others I was able to better articulate some of my come from as it pertains to both parenting and life.

http://www.helium.com/items/171239-neo-hippie-parenting “Neo-Hippie parenting”

http://www.helium.com/items/1014476-neo-hippie-parenting “Neo-Hippie parenting”

·         Don’t expect from others – earn what you need and appreciate what’s shared

·         Admitting failure is extremely powerful because influence without humility is meaningless

·         Honor honesty - trust is the means by which all human relationships are governed

·         Leave it better then you found it - improve the situation, at minimum try not to make it worse

·         Obedience, teach  it as a survival skill as it comes into play with both laws and physics

·         Forgive accidents and mistakes yet implement and explain the reasonable punishment for purposeful wrong-doing

·         Family and friendship is a commitment, maintain and grow relationships

·         People matter not stuff but respect people themselves as well as their views and belongings

·         Practice what one preaches – illustrate quality characteristics for a happy healthy life

Roller coasters - yuck

Roller coasters have ups and downs, abrupt twists and turns, and outrageous speeds. I’ve been on a few and know I don't like the real things.  I for sure don’t like the emotional ones either! Wow, today has been a real doozie. I had strange dreams that gave me funky uneasy feelings to start my day. I had some really pleasant moments today, lunch break especially where I escaped cube land to enjoy Texas winter of a sunny 75 degrees. But I’m back to feeling stressed and sad. During my down time/breaks at work I tried to keep busy by reading articles, but that just made me flustered. I don’t think I can win today. It’s not even 4 pm and all I want to do is get my hugs and kisses from G and R and head to bed.

This particular article really got me exasperated: http://healthland.time.com/2011/03/04/why-having-kids-is-foolish/ “Kid Crazy: Why We Exaggerate the Joys of Parenthood”. My reaction - Really?! There is no way I can exaggerate the way it feels to get a hug, a kiss, a snuggle form my daughter! The way my heart melts the first time (and every time after) when I hear “Mommy, I love you”. It’s beyond amazing! Exaggerate… WHATEVER! I do not deny the sleepless nights or financial stress of children, but I have no need to exaggerate the joys because they are immense in quality and quantity. That might not be everyone’s experience, but I want to state this ‘study’ does not represent me.

An interesting quote I came across was “… the vast majority of American men and women eventually have children, yet conditions in our society make it nearly impossible for them to reap all the emotional benefits of doing so.” Ok. I do envy some European social support systems that are available to parents. I also think it’s wonderful that nursing mothers are not shamed or treated as flashers in other parts of the world. But I think some of the ‘American’ lack of emotional benefit stretches beyond parenting. I think in large part health, happiness, and culture is under rated here in the states. A focus on career, stability, and money impedes many to feel fulfilled (with or without children). 

To Be, Or Not To Be... a parent

Even when trying to focus on work, a conversation breaks out among my peers about the benefits of having kids, or why anyone would ever procreate. Though my office as a whole is very supportive or indifferent about the three pregnancies currently in the office, there a few out spoken people that question the whole family dynamic. Don’t get me wrong I don’t think it’s for everyone and don’t feel the need to try to convince or encourage others toward my lifestyle choices, but I know it’s the most amazing thing I’ve done. And that is over simplifying how I feel about expanding my life roles beyond daughter, sister, friend, and student to also being a partner, mother, and teacher.

Recently I’ve been quoted how much it costs (in dollars) to raise a child, what I have to give up, what will inevitably change, and all the unknown additional stressors.  Ummm, hey buddy this is my second child… I expect more to change and more challenges, but I did this on purpose – thanks for the warnings. By the way, I love, adore and respect my husband and I get that in return. We are ecstatic to expand our little family! That’s fine that you don’t want kids; It’s not my issue that you don’t understand or disagree with marriage and if you're happy without it, then I'm happy for you. I’m not preaching that you should live your life any different that you want to… I do think people can have fulfillment in life without those social norms, but I also think some of us want those things not because that’s what we should do but rather it’s what we want.

What I said back to my colleagues that engaged me in conversation was – If you don’t want kids don’t have them, if you don’t want to get married don’t. They seemed surprised I wasn’t gushing over the joys. I don’t need to. I love having a life partner and being a parent, but have no expectation that everyone should or everyone does.